These past few weeks were a hard one for me and my family. From a very comfortable suite life at the hotel with free food, internet and amenities, here I am transferring to a one small bedroom apartment without furniture’s and basic utilities, like internet and cable. No TV, no bed, no tables, no nothing, no means of communication to my family in the Philippines. Adding insult to the injury, I have to save and not send money to my family in the Philippines. And sometimes, I can’t help but doubt my situation, doubt my God, asking Him, is this really your plan for me? Is this your design for me and my family, that we are away at each other’s arms, what did I do to deserve not be with my kids? And this last Resurrection Sunday, I was reading His story, when Jesus rose from the dead and appeared to Mary and Martha at the tomb, He said, “Go tell my disciples”. I am sure everybody was excited, I am sure there was rejoicing among all the disciples, all of them except Doubting Thomas, he probably said it like this, “oh yeah, I am a believer, I love Jesus, but unless I see Him with my own eyes, unless I feel the nail prints in His hands, unless I touch the scars on His side, I am not going to believe.” I believe Thomas also spent as much time with Jesus like the other disciples, I believe he also memorized some of his teachings or knew all the scriptures, and deep down, he wanted to believe, but his mind was filled with doubts…
And then several days have passed, the disciples gathered all together and all of a sudden Jesus came walking through the door. At first they thought it was a ghost, but they soon recognized that it was Jesus. What’s interesting is that Jesus didn’t go over to Peter or the other disciples to say “Good job guys in keeping faith in me” or “Thank you for keeping your words and trusting in me”, what Jesus did was He went straight to Thomas, the doubting guy, He did not go over to the one who had the most faith, He went straight to the one who had the most doubt. Jesus looked to Thomas in his eyes and said, “Thomas, I have heard what you said and I know that you don’t believe until you see me, go ahead, feel the nail prints on my hands, touch the scars on my side, I want to assure you, that I am a faithful God and I will always fulfill what I have promised.”
Like you and me my friend, we may feel a doubt in our lives right now, you may feel why are you in this kind of situation, why is this happening in my life, why did he leave me, why did he/she passed away, why o why o why…?!!?!?! Today, know that your doubts don’t drive God away. He doesn’t closes His door on you, in fact, He will go closer to you and show His mercy to you. When we go through things that we don’t understand, He just wants us to keep looking for Him. And just recently my friends, a lot of my new found friends, through of course the help of our God, provided everything for me, they gave me a bed, tables, chairs, television, microwave, basically all of my needs in the apartment have been provided for now (You know who you are all). I will not be amazed if one time, my family is already here in the US in no time…Today my friend, it doesn’t matter if you have doubts, it doesn’t matter if you have questions, because God looks beyond your doubts and sees what is in your heart. He is faithful and will continue to fulfill His promises in your life.
